Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
