a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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