I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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