im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
