Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
