My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
