i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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