i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
