Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
