Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
