Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize