I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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