even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
