I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
