I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
