I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
