Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize