PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize