So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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