I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize