Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I puked a lego.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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