How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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