I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
