ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize