mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
