Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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