remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize