Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
