Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
COCAINE IS GR8
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize