End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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