Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize