I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
