just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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