The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize