We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
