You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
