Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
