i think my mom watched the whole time
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
