Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
