matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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