How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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