So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
