I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize