Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
