Well apparently he's into motor boating.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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