Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
