i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
