ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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