Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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