You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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