you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
