I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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