they need to just BURY HIM!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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