Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
