there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize