With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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