Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Randomize
