i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
