she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize