I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
