I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
