so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
