Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
