it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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