He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
