2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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