i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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