Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
God, I missed his penis.
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