we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
