it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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