We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
