My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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