Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

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(925): View more from California

is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?

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(678): View more from Georgia

I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Did everyone make it back alive?

(309): View more from Illinois

You say that with such hope.

(217): View more from Illinois

Is that a no?

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(713): View more from Texas

That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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(206): View more from Washington

Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...

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(540): View more from Virginia

It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.

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