I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
