YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
